Archive | December, 2010

The End of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

I don’t often write about political issues here, but I couldn’t ignore the recent passage in the US Senate to repeal ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.’ I remember when I was finishing up high school that my father encouraged me to look into a military academy or join ROTC. Although this was a different era than […]

Anal Self Touch

As infants we take delight in all parts of our body. We explore every area and learn how to sense, how to feel. We notice what feels good and want more of that. As we grow older we learn to distance ourselves from our bodies. We learn to put judgments on our erotic interests. We […]

Practicing Connection

Being in connection can be really hard to do. We don’t have lots of practice at it Oh sure, there are attempts, an example is what I call corporate connection – connection at work. It usually look like lots of eye contact and close listening. But actually, the eye contact is more of a stare-through. […]

Erotic Trance

What is erotic trance? Erotic trance is a state induced by erotic activity in which we learn to completely let go, surrender to the experience and simply be present to the experience. The mental noise goes away and all we’re aware of is the sensations in the body. I think it’s close to completely letting […]


I believe that the most common issue facing gay men is a longing for connection. The ironic part is that many of us are also afraid of connection. Sometimes that fear is concern around where things will lead. Other times that fear is around what the other person thinks of us. I know for myself […]

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