Anal touch and prostate massage offer a unique opportunity for profound relaxation and pleasure. I strongly believe that we can’t be completely relaxed if our butt is tight. In addition, many of the muscles of the pelvic floor can only be reached via anal touch. At the same time, many men are apprehensive about exploring anal pleasure and touch. For some men, this apprehension can be around hygiene.
I have worked with men on anal hygiene – including detailed instruction on anal cleaning techniques. Many men are concerned about anal cleanliness. In many cases these concerns get in the way of enjoyment of anal pleasure. Most porn improperly validates these concerns because everyone in porn is impeccably clean. You never see the extensive preparation involved!
The process of cleaning the rectum is called anal douching. Many people simply refer to it as cleaning out. The process doesn’t take very long to do, but can take some getting used to if you haven’t done it before.
The reason many of us are concerned about anal cleansing is because of being dirty. We were conditioned from a young age to be embarrassed about it. Just look at the expression of someone changing a baby’s diaper sometime – ever think that those feelings get transferred to the baby? Of course they do! Many of us still carry some trauma from these experiences. This is a natural bodily function and is nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides all the cleaning you do will be private – no one else needs to be with you to clean yourself out.
I don’t recommend using laxatives to help clean your digestive tract. Laxatives can cause dehydration and their regular use can be harmful to your digestive system.
You’ll be using water to clean out. Be sure to pay attention to the temperature of the water you use. The nerves inside the rectum are designed to sense pressure (when you feel this pressure you note that you need to go to the bathroom.) These nerves don’t sense temperature very well, so you could harm yourself by using hot water. Cold water won’t hurt you but can give some men cramps. Be sure to check the temperature of the water before you insert it. I recommend the “baby bottle” test. Splash a bit on the inside of your wrist – just like testing a baby’s bottle. The water should be comfortably lukewarm on the inside of your wrist.
There are a variety of ways to clean out. I’ll cover the most popular ways here. (This discussion is focused on the US; I’m sure similar products are available in other countries.)
Disposable Enema – This is probably the cheapest and simplest method. You can get these at most drug stores. Empty out the contents – it comes with a chemical solution that can irritate the lining of the rectum. You’re buying this for the device – not the liquid contents. Unscrew the tip and refill the bottle with lukewarm tap water. You’ll notice a one-way valve at the base of the tip to prevent water returning into the bottle. Covering the tip is a removable cap. Remove this cap. There’s a bit of lube already on the tip but you’ll probably want to add some more. You may also want to add lube to your asshole. Gently insert the bottle tip into your asshole and squeeze the water into your rectum. You may find it easier to do this on your knees or squatting. Fill your rectum and try to hold it in for a bit. Then empty the water into the toilet. The first few times the water may be a bit dirty – that’s normal. Just repeat the process until the water is clear. Then you’re done! You can use the bottle again. Just wash it and save it for the next time. You can keep reusing it until the plastic bottle wears out.
Anal Douche Bulb – The disposable enema bottle wears out pretty quickly. A longer lasting but more expensive option is the anal douche bulb. These are available at most sex toy stores. There’s also a slightly larger version intended for vaginal cleansing available at most drug stores. (For some reason the vaginal douche is usually blue while the anal version is usually red – I have no idea why.) Using either version is the same basic principle as the disposable enema. Just fill the bulb with lukewarm water put some lube on the tip and insert. Squeeze the water into your rectum and empty the water in the toilet. Since these don’t have the one-way valve be sure to remove the tip before releasing the bulb or you may suck water from your rectum back into the bulb. Also keep in mind that these devices hold more water then the disposable enemas. Just like the disposable enema, repeat several times until the water comes out clear. When you’re done just clean the bulb and the tip.
Shower Douche – Sometimes this is called a shower shot. This is a convenient option for those who may want more frequent or deeper cleaning. It’s what I use. The shower douche is essentially a diverter valve, hose and tip that is installed into your plumbing just before the shower head. You’ll need some basic plumbing skills and a few tools to install this.
Since this allows water to flow directly into your rectum from the plumbing, it’s important to be able to control the temperature and pressure of the water. I don’t recommend this option if your water temperature isn’t fairly constant. (If your shower gets hot when someone flushes the toilet don’t use this!) I also recommend installing an adjustable pressure valve to control the water pressure coming out. You don’t want full water pressure shooting into your rectum!
You can use this like a douche. Take in some water and empty it out. Then rinse and repeat. Another option is to allow the water to freely flow into your rectum and back out again down the shower drain. You can tighten then relax your external sphincter to build up water then release the water from your rectum. This is the way I do it.
This method also works for deeper cleaning past the rectum. You’ll use the same technique but let the water go in a bit deeper and you’ll need to clean in stages with a break in between. Deeper cleaning is needed for fisting. If you’re interested in deeper cleaning for fisting, I’m happy to chat with you about it.
A few observations… Be kind to your butt. Inserting anything inside shouldn’t hurt. Take things slow and gentle. Use plenty of lube. If it hurts, slow down or stop!
Sometimes cleaning out stimulates the lower part of your digestive tract and you may notice that you have to go to the toilet shortly after douching. This is not unusual. Allow plenty of time for your body to adjust after douching before beginning anal play. If you have to go after cleaning out, just do another rinse and repeat!
If you take in a lot of water it can become temporarily trapped in your colon. You may find that you need to eliminate water 10 to 30 minutes after douching or this water may come out during anal play. Any water held in your system isn’t a problem. One of the functions of the colon is to absorb water before elimination. You’ll either eliminate the excess water or it will be absorbed into your body. For this reason it’s best to use plain water. Don’t add any soap or other chemicals to the water.
A clean butt doesn’t last forever. Your digestive system keeps things moving along. You may find yourself needing to clean out again during anal play. With practice, you’ll learn when you need to touch up. You may also find that certain foods make it harder to completely clean. Get to know how your body works. I don’t recommend anal play right after a meal. For many of us eating stimulates the digestive tract to move things along. If something goes in, something usually needs to come out. I suggest anal play on an empty stomach or after a very light snack.
There may also be times when your body just isn’t ready for anal play. Listen to what your body is trying to tell you. If you’re not ready, just wait for another time. Again, there’s no need to rush.
Finally, for hygienic reasons, please don’t share cleaning devices. Sharing anything that’s inserted not only could transmit HIV, but also hepatitis and a host of other organisms. In a pinch all of these can be cleaned with bleach or a disinfecting cleaner, but it’s best to keep them for your use only.