Masturbation as Ritual

I look at masturbation not as something to do; rather, I look at it as a practice. It’s a way to temporarily shut off the world and focus entirely on me and my connection with myself. There’s nothing else I can do to feel as alive, joyful, and grounded as when I am masturbating. I […]

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Why The Male Orgasm Is Not As Simple As Everyone Tries To Tell You

Male sexuality is so often over-simplified. Most think that male sexuality is about cumming – and that’ s pretty much about it. However, this traditional view is so simplified and limiting. I strongly recommend this short article – the author gets what’s possible! A question I often get asked is how to expand sexual sensations. […]

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I hear from guys concerned about the risks of sexually transmitted infections (sti’s.) Yes, sti’s are real and the risk can very from a minor nuisance to a chronic condition that affects you for the rest of your life. There’s so much wrapped up in any discussion of sti’s since the way we discuss these […]

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I’m Not A Walking Penis (Most of the Time)


I recently came across this post where the author made a case our culture doesn’t understand the male sex drive. There’s a pernicious myth out there that the male sex drive is unstoppable and irresistible–that once a man is aroused, he literally cannot control his actions.  We tell jokes about “thinking with the other head” and “all the […]

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Am I Good Enough?

One of the most common concerns men have is a variation on “Am I good enough.” This gets reinforced for many of us when younger by our often mistaken notions of what is masculinity. We’re constantly trying to measure up to some, often undefined, ideal. When I was a young boy I clearly got the […]

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Slowing Down

Men are often like puppies. OK, not in all ways, but many of us are like puppies in one important way. We get super excited about the prospect of sex. We want to dive right in head first – sometimes without checking the water. We learn to get excited starting when we’re young. Think about […]

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Practicing My Boundaries

The biggest challenges with my move to Vegas has been leaving my friends and lovers behind and setting out to find a new circle of friends here. Like most guys looking for play partners, I’m on several online hookup sites; generally I find these sites useful and I’ve met several great guys who have turned […]

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My boy recently moved to a new city and is going through all the expected challenges in adapting to a new location. In addition, we’ve been separated more than usual over the last few weeks and, while the distance has brought us closer, it’s also added some challenges. Like a good Daddy, I want to […]

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What’s Your Pleasure Ceiling?


Pamela Madsen recently wrote a short post about a client’s pleasure ceiling. I’ve experienced this pleasure ceiling too. I’ve encountered my pleasure ceiling usually around pretty intense body experiences and I consciously realize that I can’t process any more pleasure. There is simply too much going on at the same time and I hit my max. […]

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