Slow Self Erotic Massage

Many men are used to generating erotic pleasure in a few particular ways. When it comes to our solo pleasure, often we are used to only one way. Often that way is what we learned when we were much younger and we haven’t changed our methods since. Think about it, many of us learned about masturbation when we were around 12 through 15 years old. How many of the things that you enjoyed at that age do you continue to enjoy today? Why masturbate the same way?

Slowing things down and savoring can completely change the way we look at solo erotic play. By letting go of expectations and letting go of any particular goal, we can open up to new possibilities. The focus of this first exercise is to slow down and savor the sensations. Of- ten we go immediately for genital touch and focus our attention on getting and maintaining an erection. Experiment with slowing down your touch and see how it feels to you.

I recommend having a mirror close by where you can observe your body. This is especially important for men who are visually oriented – men often use our visual sense more than other senses. If you find yourself highly visually oriented, a mirror can help focus your attention back on your body. Position the mirror where you can see your face and most of your body.

I strongly recommend that you do not use porn. Porn can be a wonderful spark that gets us going, but it can also distract us from fully being in our body. We tend to pay more attention to what we’re seeing and not paying much attention to our body sensations when watching something else. I in- vite you to put it away for now.

I also recommend having a clock handy. We’ll be doing this exercise for 20 minutes. You’ll want to be aware of the time, but there’s no need to focus exclusively on the time.

Finally, before we begin, I invite you to let go of the need for an erection. Sometimes, we get so focused on having an erection that we can distance ourselves from the sensations. An erection isn’t needed for erotic sensations. In fact, amazing ecstasy can be had from a soft cock. (More on this in the next exercise!)

Begin this exercise by closing your eyes and checking in with your body. Note any areas that are tight or relaxed. Try not to judge your feelings – just note them. Scan your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

Create an intention to cultivate erotic energy from your entire body. Begin with the top of your head. Include your face and ears. Slowly caress your arms. Feel the sensation of your touch on the hairs of your skin. Caress your hands. Move to your chest. Play with your nipples. Include your belly in with your touch. Most of us ignore our bellies – some of us are ashamed of this part of our body. Make love to your belly.

Include erotic touch of your cock and balls. Slow deliberate touch. Although you don’t need an erection, enjoy it if you have one. Many men find that an erection comes and goes during long, intense erotic play. Tickle your balls and your perineum (that spot between your balls and your anus.) Caress the tender places on the inside of your legs. Include your feet and toes.

Erotically wake up your entire body. Yes, your cock and balls can generate lots of erotic energy. But so can the rest of your body. Enjoy the slow in- crease of erotic energy.

After 20 minutes of this slow, deliberate touch gradually bring your self- touch exploration to a close. Check in with yourself and note what feels dif- ferent in your body now compared to when you began this exercise.

In this video follow along as I take about 30 minutes to wake up my body erotically. In the video notice that erection isn’t important at all. Also notice that I’m not building erotic energy by speeding things up; rather, I’m building the energy by slowing things down. Traditional orgasm or ejaculation isn’t the focus of this exercise, yet when I am complete my body feels completely at ease and relaxed.

During much of the video I talk about what I’m noticing in my body; my intention is to give men a framework from which to develop their own practice.

Needless to say, this video contains nudity and sexual content. It is not intended for those under 18 nor those who do not wish to view such material.

Let go of your thoughts and connect with yourself. Note what’s going on in your body. You may want to use a mirror to spend some time gazing into your eyes. Find a comfortable position that you can be in for a while. Many men find a slightly reclining position to be best for this exercise.

Before contacting with your body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage your legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples and belly. Pour a small quantity of high-quality oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above your penis, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take your time.

Massage the shaft of the penis. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the penis and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with both your right and left hands.

Massage the head of your penis as if you are using a juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. You will probably find that you will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum. Let go of whether you’re hard or not – it’s not important for this.

If you feel as you are going to ejaculate, back off, allowing your penis to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. There’s a page on ejaculatory mastery, but many men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is the key here and will reduce the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to be in this erotic state as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate.

26 Comments on “Slow Self Erotic Massage

August 22, 2012 at 11:12 am

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this video. You were calm and not frantic about stroking your cock and I sensed the enjoyment you were feeling.
I have often thought how nice it would be for two men to engage in this…kind of mirror images of one another.
I’m an older man now and I too enjoy stroking my cock. Cumming is another thing. I’m at that point when, because of ED, I don’t get hard enough to enjoy a jaculation. Now I’m resorting to using a massager which bring me to climax. But I use it slowly so as to enjoy the pleasure it brings.
I have felt close to you while watching the video and just writing this to you makes me feel the bonding even better.
If ever you’re interested in doing a mutual sensual erotic massage, let me know. I’d be more than interested! Years ago I trained at the Body Electric with Joe Kramer and still haven’t forgotten that life-changing experience.
Thanks for reading this. Try to make a few more of those videos as they are truly moving!

August 22, 2012 at 11:41 am

Hi Raph, Thanks for the comments and I’m glad that the video was helpful for you. I debated adding this video, but I decided to add it because I felt it has educations value and there’s nothing like it anywhere else I’ve seen. I think it’s important for us to unlearn habits and slow down.
I also like your vision of doing this slow self massage across from another. I’ve done a variation of this as a soft cock massage and it can be quite transformative.
I will look at making more videos with a message such as this one.


August 22, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Thanks for your gracious response. What has come to mind also was doing this practice with someone who is looking for a partner to do it with. If you know any older person who would be willing to engage in a mirror type cock massage, would you please suggest he get in touch with me. I appreciate your taking the time to respond.

August 27, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Hello again,
I was really taken by your video of slow self erotic massage. Are you open to my visiting and joining you in this experience? There’s much I’d still like to learn and you seem to be someone I could trust and be comfortable with. Thanks for considering what may sound like a bold request.

September 7, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Browsing thru flash player in my mobile..pls make a way for me to watch this video.. u r absolutely awesome.. Expecting more posts on masturbation and exploring entire body…

September 8, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Thanks and I’m glad that the videos are helpful for you. The video file is not Flash, it’s an m4v format that should play on an iPad; it plays on mine.

October 2, 2012 at 4:24 pm

it was a lovely lesson.

October 3, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Thank you.

November 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I found your video truly erotic. You are hot to view. Also like to see a video of two people enjoying mutual erotic gratification. P.S. I gave some moves that will enhance the experience and none of them use anything but the hands.

November 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Yes, there are so many ways that two people can connect for conscious erotic fulfillment. I hope to have more videos in the future.

January 31, 2013 at 10:10 pm

It was an amazing experience to watch you touching yourself and to do just the same as you : touching myself very slowly, moaning, crying, sighing…
I really felt like you were in person talking to me, seducing me, and taking me far away…
I watched the video twice in a row. I was with you for an hour. After that, EUPHORIA!

Thanks for being with me, Ed.

From Japan

February 8, 2013 at 9:22 am

I’m so glad that the video took you to a new experience!

Tim Warner
February 21, 2013 at 3:13 am

This is so good, Ed. Exactly the kind of video I need to see, and that I look for.Masturbation is such a uniquely joyful. pleasurable, and truth-revealing self-emergent experience for me. I often look for others who know what it’s like to connect the penis to the spirit and it is so rare to find that. I don’t like to compromisingly settle for “stroke porn” but that is alm,ost the onlyu thing which is available. But this video of yours is perfect and extraordinary. I wish you would post much more. You are such a sexy man, but with a genuine sense of the profundity of experience of penis masturbation. This communicates so well in this video.

Terry Parmegiani
April 3, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Thank you for putting this on your website. I learned so much. I like the fact that it is not just a get it over with thing but it is slow and deliberate.

April 4, 2013 at 8:34 am

Thanks! Glad you found the video helpful.

June 26, 2013 at 11:36 pm

WOW! PLease do another! As soon as I started watching my penis immediately awakened!!!!

June 27, 2013 at 11:16 am

Thanks! I’m planning to add a few more videos in the next months or so.

November 24, 2013 at 8:58 am

which you massage your cock it really turned me on

December 25, 2013 at 4:03 am

I didn’t saw any video:/ where is it?

January 15, 2014 at 4:48 pm

It’s there. Not sure why your’re not seeing it.

May 10, 2014 at 6:59 am

Awesome video, I have. Been wanting to explore more deeper erotic self.massage a truly wonderful experience

May 10, 2014 at 12:19 pm

Yes, going slow can be a wonderful experience!

May 12, 2014 at 10:51 am

i commented before after i watched the video. i want to truly thank you for what you do. this is something i have been searching for for many years, i have never eexperienced this kind of pleasure . i have for as long as i can remember had a deep interest and passion of masturbation and have always searched for more intense self love, i think i have finally found what i have been searching for. i would love to know more about masturbation coaching. iam 49 year old divorced, i love sex of any kind. but self love and deep self genital massage seems to be my calliing. i would love to hear back from you regarding masturbation coaching. thank you

May 15, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Hi and thanks for the kind words! Masturbation coaching is about helping men discover a fulfilling and satisfying masturbation practice. So many of us masturbate just to get off. While the pleasure of orgasm is incredible, there is so much more possible when we masturbate consciously and with intention. Coaching sessions can help us find what’s below that surface!

April 29, 2016 at 11:55 am

Thank you for the video, it was wonderful! I just started tantra…I am 66, have some ED, but now do 21 days at a time without ejaculating. I find I can massage my penis for an hour and stay hard and blissful, as you seem to be. I am working on getting close to orgasm and backing off, but have not done that yet. I do feel the bliss in my whole body, though!

sean.hickey26 =skype
May 2, 2016 at 5:19 pm

Just saw your videos, how you enjoy the beauty of your cock and in all its pleasure, how you ejaculate from your throbbing cock and how your balls tighten, great work , Ozzie guy here, pity not nearer to experince your world


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